Paying It Forward

This weekend I got an unexpected text from an acquaintance detailing a dream he had about me. In the dream, I was very successful: he was choosing which theatre to go see a new film I was starring in. He also mentioned that his dreams have been prophetic in the past. Yeehaw!

It felt so great to know that someone else out in this big world was holding a space for my success. I felt totally energized and supported by his message, and my mood instantly changed. I swear I could feel/see the energy he had sent out into the world on my behalf. It made me think about how much I give (or don’t) to the people in my life. About how much more I’d like to be giving. How even small things can have big ripples.

I’ve been thinking a lot about value these days. How much value am I adding to the world with my work? What is my intention and contribution? If I think my value is high, why do I not feel adequately compensated? I’d like my work to heal, move, shock, educate, stimulate, challenge and infuriate people. I DO think there is value in my work, and it’s a matter of finding the appropriate market for it. I’m working on that…

A surprise collaborator (who I mentioned before) recently surfaced and a new web series is on the horizon. It’s odd. This project seems to be writing itself and has been flowing out of me effortlessly. Actually every time I take a shower, new scenes and dialogue just start coming to me. Then I have to jump out to go write it all down before I forget it. I seriously need a waterproof digital recorder. Got one? This is the first time I’m really enjoying writing, and I’m excited to spend some time with this character.

In contrast, the rewrite of I Heart Hamas has been slow. I’m trying to get down with the process and the fact that the show will probably go through several incarnations, but the perfectionist in me wants it all done now. Again, working on that… There may be some performance opportunities this Spring/Summer on both coasts. I should know more in the coming weeks.

I’m shooting a few days on an independent feature in March, and it seems like a promising project. Although from this point forward, I’ve decided to limit my auditions/work to money gigs while I get my 2 projects off the ground. I have the feeling that my own projects have more potential to get me seen, than anyone else’s project at this point.

So on that note I have to get back to work on my EPK (electronic press kit) for I Heart Hamas. But in the spirit of the opening of this post, if you’d like me to hold a space for the success of your goals and dreams please send me a comment. I can’t promise I’ll actually dream about you, but I can send some mighty grace your way. Plus putting it in writing is kind of like a promise to yourself and a declaration to the world of your desire. Now go out and create what you want.

Tags: Feature film, I Heart Hamas, pay it forward, Solo show, web series