The past few weeks have been hard. I don’t mean to be a whiner. Really, I don’t…but they have been. Talking to a friend today about her assertion that we aren’t so tough as a people: this generation, Americans. We have machines and people to do and make and fix everything for us: our food, computers, cars, our heads. So when things get hard, we tend to give up easily or hand things off or pout. And she’s right.
So I admit it: I’m not half as tough or persistent or strong as I think I am. I don’t work as hard as I could. I’m neurotic and easily derailed by my emotions. And I complain. A fair bit. But I guess the bright side of all this is that there is lots of room for improvement. :)
So onto the acting career stuff: Things have been…HARD. Not a lot of work at the end of the year, which makes me anxious. Almost wrapped the feature, but we had a rain day and had to reschedule our last shoot day for late January. The whole experience with that film was not what I expected–which is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes things aren’t what you expect. Lesson learned. I have to be more clear before I get involved with a project to make sure I’m getting what I need out of it. Otherwise I get cranky and that is no fun for anyone.
Booked roles in two more independent features shooting in the New Year, which is really exciting. The oncamera time is invaluable as far as gauging how my work is progressing. It’s wierd to have a job where you can’t actually do your job very often. So I really have to relish those times when I book a job, and put the oncamera time to good use.
I watched a pretty interesting film last week (“Hannah Takes the Stairs” in case you were wondering) and I was thinking afterwards how much I wanted to find a director and crew to work with me to help me develop some ideas I have…and then the very next day I get an email from a director who wants to work with me to help me develop some ideas I have!! Hello? An unexpected surprise collaborator popping out of nowhere and making me an amazing offer…I am sorting out the details and expectations on that and will fill in more as things develop.
This past week, I’ve also had some folks extend their hands and contacts to help me make this tour idea a reality which is awesome. But, I’m also realizing it’s going to be a lot more work than I thought it would be. I guess anything worthwhile is worth fighting for.
Okay, okay, fine. I finally get it. The message has been received loud and clear, Universe or Godperson or Bundle of Swirling Energy. Maybe this Generation Whatever? (Palestinian) American girl needs to quit sulking and pouting, and just toughen up, roll up her sleeves and get down to some hard work. Fine. Lightbulb moment happened. Complaint time is over….but maybe next time could you make the process a little easier?
Tags: acting career, Actress, Feature film, I Heart Hamas tour, persistence, pouting
