So the past few weeks have been a mixed bag, and a bit of a roller coaster ride. Things are great, and then slow, and then bad, and then good again. Not sure what to expect next, and I’m having a hard time getting down with the instability.
With the holidays here, work and auditions have slowed down dramatically. It’s really slim pickings and I may need to pick up some non-acting gigs to make rent this month, which I’m trying to not see as a defeat. It happens. I’m also rewriting my show, which has been really challenging. Lots of really cool ideas percolating, but the actual pen to paper has been slow going. This has made me really angsty and a bit cranky. But in the midst of all this (basically in the past 72 hours), I’ve been contacted by 2 separate organizations that are interested in my show. These are completely unsolicited performance invites; they found me.
This week is also my birthday week, which is exciting right? I actually lovelovelove my birthday and like to indulge in celebrating it for as long as possible with as many people and parties as I can get away with. But there is also something about my birthday that makes me a bit sad and thoughtful. Last night, I received my first birthday gift from someone I just met a few weeks ago in my acting class. It was totally unexpected and really awesome.
This all got me thinking about how truly random everything is…
We all have our local coffeeshops, our favorite restaurants, that snuggly swetashirt we like to wear when we aren’t feeling well. We attempt to create structure because it makes us feel safe and warm, but in nature is routine really the reigning dynamic? Or is it randomness? Tune into the local or global news it seems like everything around is pretty chaotic and nothing makes any sense. But does it all happen for a reason? Is there an underlying crystal clear structure beneath it that we can’t weave together because we don’t have the facts? Honestly, I’m not sure. But I do know that the world keeps throwing me curve balls, giving and then taking, and then turning the whole damn thing upside down and shaking it up. So in honor of perceived natural and global chaos, I am declaring this birthday: Embrace the Random Day.
I am going to kiss whoever, invite whoever, talk to whoever, do whatever the hell I want. Even if my grammar is bad. And I am inviting you to do the same. Ask someone random out. Do something you’ve never done before. Ride a horse. Shoot a gun (hopefully not at someone). Talk to the hot guy in the Trader Joe’s produce department. Speak French even if it sucks. And do it knowing that you only get one shot at this wild ride. Do it because, as my friend Anna just reminded me, all you have is the experience of what you have done and how you have behaved. You have no control over what other people do and what the world throws at you (economic crisis anyone?). So come celebrate with me.
I’ll be performing a brand new-never before seen- scene from my show at a monthly solo showcase in Berkeley on December 16th. Come out if you’re around and kiss me or something….Thanks for all the birthday love.
Tags: acting career, Auditions, birthdays, global chaos, randomness
