It’s funny how people react when I tell them I’m an actress. Sometimes they think I’m joking, or they express concern and encourage me to find a “real” job that is more stable, other times they ask inappropriate questions like if I can make a living doing that, and then there are some people who think it’s really awesome and glamorous…at this point I assure them it is awesome, but it’s NOT glamorous. Well, not yet.
Unlike the general misconception of acting being a star studded, sexy and exciting profession; the road to an acting career is extremely difficult, full of rejection, often humiliating, and a strain on one’s psychological, financial and spiritual reserves. I think most people would be appalled and highly entertained by the whole audition process and the things we’re asked to do as actors. Personally, I feel like acting is my spiritual challenge–it forces me to confront all of my insecurities, fears, laziness, ego and baggage constantly. The irony is that most people think actors have huge egos and are self obsessed, but to actually do all of the ridiculous and vulnerable things one is called upon to do in this profession, there is really no space for ego. I am constantly putting my ego aside, and asking people to hire me, doing things I’ve never done before, embarrassing things, whatever it takes. I’m practically the Dalai Lama over here, people. So you might be wondering why the hell I’m doing this to myself? Well, because acting can also be transcendent and life sustaining and magical. A friend of mine who surfs described riding the perfect wave where it feels like the sun and the water and the board and you are all in a natural balance and it’s effortless and time stops. That’s how acting can feel, and those are the moments I live for. It’s safe to say, I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else at this point.
I just celebrated my 4 year acting anniversary on October 22nd. I’ve actually been acting for over a decade on and off, but it has been 4 years since I began pursuing it as a profession with an ever growing level of commitment and confidence. I am proud to announce that this October 2008 was the first time in 4 years that I have made my entire monthly income off of acting jobs!! That’s a huge deal. Trust me on this one.
It’s interesting. My career seems to have gone into turbo speed ever since I got back from NYC where I performed my solo show at the Fringe Festival this August. People keep telling me I look different since I’ve been back. And I feel different. Clear. Determined. And just more at home in my skin. Creating a piece that is all your own, that is vulnerable, and provocative and soul baringly honest, and includes all the things you don’t normally say to other people has a way of changing you. Plus, getting reviews and press and the attention of producers and industry people feels really good too.
This past week has been super busy. I’m prepping to do my show for a benefit at SF State in a few weeks, had rehearsals for a feature film I’m shooting this Fall, and performed in a Murder Mystery down in Monterey. I headed down a few hours early and got to spend an afternoon reviewing my script on the beach. The life of an actor isn’t all bad. I also got called in to audition for a theatre show, a corporate video, and a commercial this week. Now for the humiliating part I mentioned earlier… So I get called in for a department store holiday commercial, which is awesome because it pays really well. The Casting Director tells me to dress colorful business casual, and that it’s a happy, big smiles vibe but she didn’t send any sides. So I get there and find out they want us to tell them our best holiday memory oncamera for the audition, and to dance to a Justin Timberlake song. “Sexy Back” to be precise. WTF? Dance to a Justin Timberlake song? For a holiday commercial? What kind of department store commercial has young women gyrating to a dirty pop song? Double WTF? I had about 2 minutes to digest this information and then got called into the room. Needless to say I danced my ass off…though I felt a little dirty after. The things I do for acting. But on a positive note, I booked a print job from my photo, which is great! 2 days of work next week. It’ll be for the web. I’ll let you all know when it’s online.
Tags: acting career, Actress, audition, commercial, FringeNYC, Jennifer Jajeh, Justin Timberlake, spirituality
April 13, 2009 at 8:42 am
Peace.
In an attempt to find out were you bought that T-shirt: I Heart Hamas, i found via the Arabic Language & Culture Social Meetup Community im apart of, this site and apparently theres more to the T-shirt than meets the eye. I can truly say i like the idea of your nomadic free-spirit roaming the land in pursuit of challenging your(self). I too am currently in pursuit of acting. as of next month i will finally be getting some photos’ taken for acting. Im a lil nervous but i think reading your article has given me a new sense of what to expect while on my way down the acting rabbit hole. My name is ML and in the future i wish you the best of blessing in all your endevors. Even though im still wanting to know were you got that T-shirt, i can @ least say i received some light from a star along the way, thanx.
ML